Feb 01, 2007|
The first Asian Film Awards, apparently a “cousin of the Oscars,” is to be held in Hong Kong. We’ve obtained the top-secret shortlist of the year’s best films but
found some curiously missing. So we’ve decided to dish out our own awards.
From Indonesia With Love. A freak mislabeling of highly dangerous radioactive oilfish as the largely innocuous “codfish” causes people who eat it to become the undead, with laser eyes. They wreak havoc upon the city of Hong Kong, destroying all in their path with noxious emissions that explode violently from their bodies. Our only hope is a ragtag band of Department of Food and Environmental Hygiene workers that can rectify the labeling error and save the world.
The Award: The Golden Codpiece
Hang Seng Confidential. “Bus Uncle” Roger Chan Yuet-tung stars as himself in this tough, affecting film, wherein the little guy – who recklessly decides to represent himself - successfully sues the shadowy, sinister corporation “Hang Seng Bank” for $2.5 million for canceling the account (which contained one
dollar) that he created for funding his ill-fated Chief Executive bid.
The Award: A sizeable reality check
The Shenzhen Redemption. The true story of an intrepid mainland mother-to-be who forgoes Hong Kong’s new pre-booking system for births and instead builds an intricate network of tunnels in a project that spans twenty years... all in order to give birth on Hong Kong land. Unfortunately, her sense of direction fails her and she actually has her son in Mongolia. A romantic comedy for the whole family!
The Award: The Silver Spoon – for digging a tunnel home
Speed 3. A manic minibus driver commandeers a busload of passengers, claiming that if the speed of his bus falls below 110kph, triads will ask for a small bribe. A terrifying ride around Hong Kong follows, with pedestrians having to leap to safety and several near-crashes. Should have been nominated for “Best Documentary Feature.”
The Award: The much-coveted “White Knuckle”
Tax-y. The financial secretary grants Hong Kong workers 3 billion dollars in tax relief – but due to a typing error, he gives it all to King Kong instead! Hilarity ensues when Kong buys a hovercraft and steers his cargo straight into a Soko Island gas refinery. Hey, he’s a gorilla. Give him a break.
The Award: Henry Tang's custom-made "Brass Monkey"