With the recent dramatic arrests of Thomas and Raymond Kwok of Sun Hung Kai, the property developer’s shareholders are calling for the company to announce a contingency plan in the event that the two directors are unable to continue with their duties. However, the Kwoks continue to insist that everything is fine. The situation has got us to thinking: what will our plan B for HK Magazine entail when the day finally comes that we are arrested by the ICAC? Read on.

• Following Mr. Know-It-All’s incarceration, his column will be replaced with a single line directing readers to www.google.com.
• Production team to hastily Photoshop all evidence of corruption out of our emails, receipts and other incriminating documents. Problem solved!
• Ask that totally ripped MENCE guy for protection.
• Create a massive cushion of back issues for dramatic escape leap from top of office building.
• Cover ideas for the coming year will be inked onto the art director’s back and smuggled out of the big house on scraps of toilet paper.
• Reassure spooked advertisers by gifting them a nice gold Rolex in exchange for renewing their contracts—we can totally do that, right?
• Make a little money on the side by sharing some of the Bookie’s tipoffs.
• Dining story: “Prison Congee Taste Test.”
• Pin everything on the hapless junior accountant who just started last week.
• All travel articles to focus exclusively on destinations that have no extradition treaties.
• Ad sales guys to keep things ticking over by trading ad space for single cigarettes and plastic bags of pruno.
• Marketing department will call a press conference to reassure the readers and advertisers… with free wine and a photo booth!
• Page Three editorial to be replaced by continuous assurances that everything is Just Fine.