Jun 21, 2012|
Summer’s here and it’s time to prepare for your BIG night out. Some of you are Buddha Lounge veterans and already know the deal. For the rest of you, let’s face it: you’re 2am Cinderellas, rushing home, leaving your shoes somewhere, worrying your ride will turn into a giant bok choy (it’s Asia, we had to update the fairy tale).
But in this heat, in this city and with these interns coming—it’s time to let loose. Trade in your beer and wine for Jager and sambuca, get creative outfit-wise, and when you feel the urge to call it an early night, stop and whisper to yourself, “There’s no place like Hong Kong, there’s no place like Hong Kong,” as you climb onto the bar at Carnegie's.
You only live once (or multiple times if you’re Buddhist)—and as we all know, monks love to party—so now it’s time to make a commitment. To yourself. Recite the following aloud:
I, [insert name], am going to have a BIG night out tonight. I will dance harder, last longer and be stupider than I should. I will not regret anything I say or do. I will send excellent drunken text messages. And above all, I will make a series of spectacularly bad decisions and it will be awesome.
Now seal it with a drink. Or six.
BIG nights out are about fun, debauchery and pacing. If you can drink all night and keep going strong, do that. But if you can’t (see Sevens, Rugby) build up your base. Hearty dinner (carbo-load!), two bottles of water and a moment of calm. Practice that om noise that people do in yoga while I stare at them. Set up your bed for ultimate pass-out mode. Remember: you need to be responsible to be soooooo irresponsible.
Next up is your choice of liquor. This requires commitment as well. Things go from bad to worse when you mix alcohol so stick with one spirit. My advice is to choose whatever makes you completely insane. No regrets, no hangovers, no memory. That can be your motto, or choose your own. But have a motto. It’s a BIG night out.
Next, separate your night into districts: your choices are TST, CWB, Wan Chai, LKF, SoHo. That’s it. None of this house party in Chai Wan or North Point karaoke crap. The idea is to be active and mobile, not to wander around an industrial parking lot looking for a taxi and cruising for parking attendants. Stay on the grid.
The BIG night starts. Go somewhere fun and hopping and have a drink and a chat. It’s warm-up time. Ensure that you stop at a 7-Eleven any which way you go because it’s important to power up drinks-wise whenever you’re walking. You don’t need to drink fast but you always need one in your hand. Unless you’re dancing. Then somebody should be buying you one, you sexy bitch.
OK, it’s midnight. Next level, power up with an action cocktail: flaming lambos, submarines, car bombs—whatever is the worst decision. Now take that mentality to the club. Do something utterly silly. Not violent—silly. Encourage others as well. Offer drinks to those who will cartwheel in the bar or do the cinnamon challenge. Be a force of subtle encouragement.
2am. Now it’s full-on blowout time. Loud club. Friends around. Big mistakes. Grinding dance. Real life DDR! The wheels are coming off. Pretend you’re Hunter S. Thompson at the 1970 Kentucky Derby and if you don’t get the reference read the article. But not now. You can’t see straight and you’re dancing with a chair. Keep it up, champ.
5am. DO NOT QUIT. Quitting is for losers and sensible human beings. You are neither. Change venues so at least you’re doing something and don’t be felled by a kebab, or a Tsui Wah or GBU treat. Have a piece of bread if you need it and get back out there. Good job.