This Friday, anyone fed up with the exploitative Hong Kong system, which keeps families crammed into tiny over-expensive apartments at the mercy of property cartels and an ineffective government, will be out on the streets making their voices heard in the only way they can. It can all get a little serious when you think about it. Break up the mood with our handy tips:

• If you are a police officer estimating the attendance figures, be sure to follow official protocol: ask all protestors to raise their hand if they are in attendance, and then divide that number in two.
• For your children’s safety, the Hong Kong Police recommends that you refrain from carrying your offspring on your shoulders unless they are fully kitted out in a Kevlar vest and a mask capable of repelling chlorine and mustard gas.
• Besides protesting, another effective way to make your voice heard is to get yourself nominated via a Functional Constituency to become one of the 1,200 people who could vote in the next Chief Executive election in 2012.
• If you find that your tuba is chafing against your jaunty epaulets, you are in the wrong kind of march.
• It’s an undisputable fact that the louder you bellow into a megaphone, the more quickly universal suffrage will be introduced to Hong Kong. So scream, scream for freedom.
• If you are worried about high copyright fees from the Beastie Boys, remember that your right to party is actually codified in the Basic Law.
• If you want to show your support for the grassroots movement, but don’t want to sacrifice your day off work, stage your march at Ocean Park instead. You can show your distrust of Beijing by giving the pandas the finger.
• According to the Chinese Communist Party, there is a fun Ferris wheel waaaaaaaaay over there, on the other side of town. Go on, look how fun it looks!
• If you are a controversial mainland artist, consider deflecting attention from your actions by wearing an Ai Weiwei costume and then committing a bunch of treason. The guy can’t get in any more trouble, right?
• Worried about sunstroke from marching in the heat of the day? Simply stand under the cool, refreshing spittle of righteous outrage issuing from the collective mouths of the Democratic Party.
• Remember all those Regina Ip broomhead effigies? Weird how people seem to have forgotten about that…