While President Obama is reluctantly joining the bombing of Libya orchestrated by Britain and France to topple the Mad Dog of Africa, the west should feel very lucky that China is ruled by a small clique of lackluster, humdrum and timid technocrats.

What if China had seized the moment and sent in the PLA while Barack Obama and David Cameron procrastinated when Gaddafi started massacring his own people, or when President Nicolas Sarkozy, the most envied leader in Europe, was too busy dallying with his beautiful wife in his bedroom in the Palace Champs-Elysee to bother about human rights or oil somewhere off the Mediterranean shore?

We have dispatched more than 300 flights to ship back 35,000 Chinese workers stuck in the military bloodshed in Libya. It was simply a half-waste of fuel that these flights left Beijing empty, instead of being loaded with PLA soldiers on a one-way journey to Tripoli in camouflage uniforms, armed with machine guns and in a vigorous mood for a real war game long-awaited since our invasion of Vietnam in 1978.

The PLA could have landed in Libya while the US and Europe were wrangling with parliaments and wading through letters to the New York Times editor over the colonial guilt and moralistic principles connected with messing in the internal affairs of the Third World. China could have taken the gamble of siding with the revolutionary army to storm the residential palace of Colonel Gaddafi and topple the tyrannical regime with our comparatively more advanced made-in-China missiles. It would cost a few more lives than the bombings by the US-NATO alliance, but it would’ve also been a golden opportunity for us to warm up the gun barrels with a few shots, which have been laid to rust for too long.

Our battle of glory in Libya would perhaps end with a General McArthur of Sichuan angelically descending on a cityscape not unlike a ruined Tokyo in 1945, where he could then supervise the Beijing model of reconstruction. Copied from the apparatuses of the People’s Congress and the Politburo, our occupying force would educate the Libyan tribes about how to raise their approving hands unanimously but peacefully to all decrees made by a Chinese governor and his hand-picked executive council, which would consist of a few members of CNOOC (883 on the Hong Kong stock exchange) flown in from Shanghai or Beijing. That learning process could take some time, but if it had marvelously succeeded with more than 1.3 billion peasants living in paddy fields, there shouldn’t be a problem with a few million grateful nomads—after all, Colonel Gaddafi had already laid down a similar foundation.

It’s time for us to move in to show the world what the phrase “The Chinese Are Coming” really means. This would be the last straw for the decline of white imperialism and the dawn of yellow pride. We are not only circumcised, but would be thereafter no longer virgins. I miss Chairman Mao, the only man who would have had the guts.