Thank you for your message.

Unfortunately, we are currently unavailable at the moment due to ongoing investigations.

We apologize if this this may be an inconvenience to you, but please understand that it was not supposed to be this way. At the start of the fiscal year, we had actually planned to be on holiday at this moment—somewhere on a private beach in Phuket enjoying a very nice Chardonnay with Chief Executive Henry Tang. It was not supposed to be like this...

Your message is important to us. But more important is this pending investigation by the ICAC. So once we have completed preparations for the upcoming deposition, we will be sure to revert to your message.

If you are trying to contact our CFO, please note that he is currently “working from home” in an arrangement that is not at all like a house arrest or anything like that.

If you are looking for our COO, we’re not exactly sure where he is. He’s definitely not in Macau. That’s for damn sure. That’s probably the last place he’d be right now, given all that business with the… you know. But we will be sure to get back to you as soon as we have figured out what’s going on.

If your query is about how in the world this has happened to us—this is supposed to be Hong Kong, for Pete’s sake! We’re tycoons, dammit!—it’s not like we have a clue either.

But we’ll be sure to get back to you if we ever have any freaking idea.

And if you are writing to us from incoming Hong Kong Chief Executive C.Y. Leung’s office, then thank you so much for finally returning our call! Please let us know if he is interested in coming to lunch with us! We would really like to introduce ourselves to him and get to know him! We have a feeling we could be fast friends. Hey, if he also has any shoes to shine, he can bring them too. We can take care of that.

Kindest regards,
The Management

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