I am writing this while lying in bed in my pajamas. Wait—scratch that. I am lying in bed and dictating this while my sister sits at a desk diligently typing my words. Why? Because I only have the use of one arm. Why? Because I dislocated my shoulder. Why? Because after I wrote a column about...
published: Jun 29 2012 - 12:00am
Summer’s here and it’s time to prepare for your BIG night out. Some of you are Buddha Lounge veterans and already know the deal. For the rest of you, let’s face it: you’re 2am Cinderellas, rushing home, leaving your shoes somewhere, worrying your ride will turn into a giant...
published: Jun 22 2012 - 12:00am
The important Hong Kong summer milestones: first crazy hot day; intern day when youths arrive to do your bitch work; Typhoon 8 day when you don’t have to work; I-set-the-AC-too-cold-and-am-sick day... and junk day. For tourists reading the mag, a junk is a yacht except it's full of insane...
published: Jun 15 2012 - 12:00am
Guys, I have an idea for a movie, so let me know what you think. It’s about the magic of one night.
Our hero is Johnny, a visitor from Taiwan, who has come to Hong Kong for the first time. Johnny is young, good-looking and utterly clueless about where to go. The movie chronicles his night out...
published: Jun 8 2012 - 12:00am
Creepy guys! It’s not working for you, huh? After a long day of “hunting” (this is how you refer to trying to meet girls) you’ve come home alone, yet again, and you’re wondering why she’s just not that into you and the way that you stared at her breasts for 20...
published: May 31 2012 - 11:00pm
Look, I know this really isn’t deserving of a column—or even a paragraph—but this brightness is annoying. Kim Kardashian annoying. Henry Tang’s face annoying. Trying to get a taxi on a Friday annoying. No matter what you do, it is impossible to make it dark in Hong Kong....
published: May 25 2012 - 12:00am
I am 28 years old. 28 is a good age—you can date women from 24 to 34 but since we’re in Hong Kong you can somehow do 21 to 37 and it’s totally fine. When I wake up, I feel pretty good, unless I’m hungover, in which case I feel normal. I still look young and feel young, but...
published: May 18 2012 - 12:00am
My friend Lily asked me to meet her boyfriend Tim because she’s trying to figure out if they should stay together when she moves away for school. I’m always worried when people ask me stuff like this because I have to figure out whether to lie or not. If he sucks and you tell her, you...
published: May 11 2012 - 12:00am
I WANDERED lonely as a cloud
That floats all week above Hong Kong,
Dispersing parties, fun, and crowds,
And leaving empty where once t’was throngs
Besides the streets, beneath the trees,
All vacant, rustling in the breeze
This Friday night proved just that fact
That fun would be postponed to...
published: May 4 2012 - 12:00am
A little while ago, I had one of the most harrowing experiences ever in Hong Kong: I went to a club at 3am, sober. Here is my diary.
3:15am My friend and I finish our work on a writing project. (Yeah I know how that sounds, shut up.) We decide to hit the clubs but first pre-game.
3:16am No whisky....
published: Apr 27 2012 - 12:00am
