So some player-hater wrote in last week and said that nobody cares whether I had falafels in the morning or not. The food and tea porn section of this particular column will be exquisite torture for you, darling.

Went for a touch of spring at FINDS for two nights this week – one was the press preview dinner, and the other was the launch party of their new face. I thought I’d be sick of scapas but I’m not, because chef Jaako Sorsa and his team know exactly what they’re doing. Although I almost died choking on a little baby vendace (totally my own bad) at the party, and had to down the large bottle of Voss and a Beer Bellini to flush the lodged fish down my throat. I was a hot mess.

Anyway, FINDS has had a little nip and tuck, and it’s not just a cheap bleach job to get those walls white again. A miniature forest of “bjork“ (that’s “birch“ in Icelandic, Norwegian and Swedish. Birch, please. Sorry I had to have it!) now greets you as you step out of the elevator; outside in the terrace, there’s a scintillating mosaic inspired by the classic 1952 Swedish textile work “Pythagoras” by Sven Markelius and crafted by artist Sucrachai Sripaiboon (Thai names are hot mess).  And then I went to a tea-pairing, hosted by my friend Cha Xiu Bao (chaxiubao.typepad.com), the most illustrious and down-to-earth of Hong Kong’s food bloggers (he must have a lot of Taurus in his chart), and the tastefully erudite and artistic Vivian Mak, director of MingCha (www.mingcha.com.hk).

I’ve never tasted so many excellent varieties of premium Chinese tea in one sitting. It was six courses (11 dishes) of Shanghainese with seven different teas served in different cups. Loved the Song-style celadon and the taller MingCha signature Daffodil. I’ve always been a green tea fanatic, and although my favorite that evening had to be the first flush Longjing (spring buds handpicked by virgins), I think I truly TASTED the darker Oolong and Puer (it does go well with lard from the pan-fried pork buns, like how a Riesling goes with foie) and got to know it Biblically. Diners were worried they’d stay up till four in the morning. Bitch, please. It was a Saturday night. Nightlife has no such reservations.

The tea was especially awesome because I needed that healthy, anti-oxidant caffeine flush since I was hideously hungover from the previous night, which was a lesbian birthday party. Damn, those dykes can drink.

I opted to go to my glamorous lesbian friend’s birthday (no she’s not butch, she wears the most enchanting dresses) at a private kitchen the night before because I hadn’t finished bejeweling my turban for the Indian-themed Hermès party. Plus, the lesbians were going to karaoke afterwards. Hot lesbian mess.

Our resident celebrity interviewer June Ng was quite the rock star herself last Saturday night at HK Live! with her band Born to Hula. She was HOT on the drums. By default, all female drummers are automatically HOT, but she was extra-fierce, because, well, when someone is totally in their element doing their thang, it’s HOT. And sexy. And fierce.

Which brings me to our fierce Deputy Editor, who is still housebound. I think her doctors have increased her dosage of meds, so she’s doped up and not kicking our asses that much on MSN anymore. Or maybe she’s given up on us. Well, don’t you give up on yourself, Fierce Dep. Even if you're a hot mess!